Lately, I’ve been wrestling with the concept of seasons. In our part of Southern California it has been particularly long season of gray. A very wet winter transitioned into “May gray” and “June gloom.” I have had enough of this gray season and am eager to move into a sunny one. However, the seasons that I have been coming to terms with are not the four seasons of the year. I am referring to seasons of life. Like winter, spring, summer, and fall; seasons of life are always changing.
Do you remember the 1960s song by The Byrds “Turn! Turn! Turn!”? Most of the lyrics are actually taken almost verbatim from the Bible (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8):
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, a time to reap that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to gain that which is to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time of love, and a time of hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
Seasons of life have all different time periods. The season of raising children is a rather long one. Going to college is short, comparatively, although it is still four years. I just went through a season that I thought was going to last for years and it expired in a matter of a few weeks.
Seasons almost always include people. I am sure you have experienced this. Friendships typically don’t last forever and, if they do, there are seasons where you are closer to that person or spend more time with them than others. Those types of patterns can coincide with the flow of life. It is easier for me to connect with people who have kids the same age as mine versus someone with a newborn or no kids at all.
Seasons are a lot like a good party or maybe a good TV show. It either ends too soon or goes on too long. Perfect timing is not possible. Something that was once good but its season has passed will start to sour, at least a little, if you hold on too long. That is not to say that things cannot come back around. But, for instance, forcing closeness when life calls for distance, even when intentions are good, will have its unintended consequences.
This is a good portion of the backdrop of what I have been thinking about. The pessimist in me flashes through and says, “It’s all worthless! Nothing lasts forever so why even try?” That statement is worthless so I don’t give it any credence. So then what?
This is what I have been pondering for the past several weeks. I think the answer is to appreciate where you are and the people you are around. Know that the seasons of life are fleeting. Obviously, in hard seasons we welcome change. For all the seasons that are good, relish the time you have while you’re in them. Raising children is a rather long season, as I mentioned before. The truth of the matter is that one day they will all leave so you don’t want to live with regret that you should have spent more time with them while they were under your roof.
I think the ultimate realization that I have made recently is that with the passing seasons of life there are all sorts of people passing through as well. Your family is the only constant. Your spouse and your children in particular. My priority is my relationship with my family above all others.
So with this extended perspective on seasons I am going to try and enjoy my present and enjoy each of my friends and extended circles knowing that our time is limited. There is a meme about childhood that goes something like this: “Somewhere in your childhood you and your friends went out to play for the last time…and none of you knew it.” I think it does encapsulate what I have been wrestling with in terms of life seasons as corny and over romantic as I think that saying is. I do treasure my friends but the only ones in the foxhole with me are my wife and my kids. So I’m going to make sure I give them all the care they need.